The U is back ... in the Bottom 10

Inspirational thought of the week:

(Cole Trickle drives his mangled Chevy Lumina into the pit stall)

Buck Bretherton: "Well, however astir that? Something we don't person to fix!"

(Crew main Harry Hogge walks implicit and kicks a dent into the broadside of the car Bretherton is looking at)

Harry Hogge: "I don't privation you to get spoiled, Buck."

-- "Days of Thunder"

Here astatine Bottom 10 Headquarters, located down the footlocker connected the "College GameDay" autobus wherever Nick Saban keeps his concealed stash of "Anchor Down" Vanderbilt shot apparel, we are opening to interest that possibly those of you who sojourn these rankings, arsenic the kids say, "on the regular" mightiness beryllium similar those who benefited from Saban's clip successful Tuscaloosa. You're getting a small spoiled.

Just 2 weeks ago, we had an all-time majestically meh Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Mega Bowl matchup betwixt UMess and State of Kent, winners of a batch of the astir caller Bottom 10 titles. (We tried to look up precisely however many, but idiosyncratic spilled Yoo-hoo connected the archival floppy disk.) Then, this past week, we had the Sam Houston Bearkats kutting it up with UTEPid. Now the signifier is acceptable for a 3rd consecutive PFOWY, arsenic Georgia State Not Southern hosts the South Alabama Redundancies. And, arsenic you volition work successful the words ahead, this is conscionable the extremity of a season-sinking iceberg of not-big games coming, arsenic the spotter connected the Titanic shouted mode excessively late, "Right ahead!"

So, for each the speech astir Power Autonomous Haughty Four league realignment, in-conference scheduling, CFP committee résumé speechmaking and the headliner showdowns that each of the supra look to bring with them, however astir immoderate props for the aforesaid happening down present with us? And by props, I wholly mean rubber chickens, whoopee cushions and 1 of those Groucho Marx plastic-nose-on-the-glasses things.

With apologies to erstwhile Wichita State wide receiver Mike Proppe, erstwhile Drake choky extremity Hal Proppe, USC DB Prophet Brown and Steve Harvey, present are the post-Week 8 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. UMess (0-7)

The Minuetmen continued their Backtion successful #MACtion schedule, playing a erstwhile chap Bottom 10 anchor, the Buffalo Bulls Not Bills. With 59 seconds remaining, the Amherst Amblers hauled successful an interception that seemed to crystal a 21-20 win. As the ESPN Analytics Ouija committee said they had a 90.9% accidental of victory, UMass players proceeded to demonstratively question goodbye and bash faux snowfall angels successful celebration, drafting an unsportsmanlike behaviour penalty. After a three-and-out followed by a punt, the Minuetmen surrendered a four-play, 50-yard, 22-second TD thrust to suffer successful the closing seconds, their pb turning retired to beryllium arsenic existent arsenic that snow.

2. Sam Houston, We Have a Problem (0-7)

The atrocious news? The Bearkats mislaid the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode II: Attack of the Groans to UTEPid 35-17. The bully news? If they don't archer anyone it happened, nary 1 is apt to ever know, due to the fact that the assemblage they played successful beforehand of was truthful tiny it would person saved clip successful the pregame to person had the PA announcer present the radical successful the stands to the starting lineups alternatively of the starting lineups to the radical successful the stands.

3. Oregon Trail State (You person died of dysentery) (1-7)

What a agelong for the Beavs. They yet won a game, beating the Lafayette Leopards, existent leaders of the Patriot League. After a week versus the Fightin' Bye of Open Date U, they volition play the archetypal of their in-season home-and-home treble diagnostic against Washington State, with whom they are presently tied for archetypal successful the 2Pac. Then they big Sam Houston State successful the Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year Episode IV: A New Dope.

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