Bottom 10: Things got even grimmer in Not-So-Happy Valley

Inspirational thought of the week:

We're taking the bid to Happy Valley
Won't you travel on determination too
It's beauteous determination successful Happy Valley
With fantastic things to do

The prima shines brightly the full time long
Every vertebrate sings a antithetic song
There's nary request to worry, there's joys untold
In Happy Valley you'll ne'er turn old

-- "Happy Valley," Rodd and The Cavaliers

Here astatine Bottom 10 Headquarters, located down the elephantine water of frying grease that is held successful a concealed determination successful metro Dallas until the State Fair of Texas starts and it's clip to navigator balls of food and funnel barroom burgers, we utilized to rotation our eyes astatine the word "unprecedented times." Why? Because we erstwhile believed that each times are precedented. As William Shakespeare erstwhile wrote, "Past is prologue." And arsenic my Uncle Willie erstwhile said to me, shaking a spear of asparagus, "Don't get each worked up, Ryno. Ain't thing gonna hap that ain't ne'er happened before."

So, what changed our mind? Penn State went to the Rose Bowl Not The Rose Bowl Game to play UCLA.

We're trying to spell done the #Bottom10 Media Guide to spot if earlier contiguous a sitting Coveted 5th Spot team, which isn't expected to really beryllium bad, has ever mislaid to an existent Bottom 10 team. But the pages are stuck together. pic.twitter.com/eJf6vwnbbh

So, what bash we bash now? A Coveted Fifth Spot squad that earned that Coveted Fifth Spot by losing an OT crippled to a top-5 team, truthful we cognize the squad isn't really that bad, turns close astir and loses to a Bottom 10 squad that we cognize is really that bad. Does that mean that squad should beryllium backmost successful the Coveted Fifth Spot due to the fact that it isn't really that atrocious ... oregon does it postgraduate from the Coveted Fifth Spot into the existent Bottom 10 due to the fact that it is really that bad? And what astir the squad that was decidedly atrocious but bushed that team? Does it postgraduate retired of the Bottom 10 ... oregon does it enactment successful the Bottom 10 due to the fact that possibly the squad that we thought wasn't atrocious is really bad?

To punctuation Cal Naughton Jr., the NASCAR operator who thought helium was atrocious lone due to the fact that teammate Ricky Bobby wouldn't fto him win, frankincense keeping him reasoning helium was bad: "My head's each tied up similar a pretzel. I got a pretzel successful my head!"

And you cognize wherever they marque the champion pretzels? Pennsylvania.

With apologies to erstwhile SMU wide receiver Happy Nelson, erstwhile Florida State moving backmost Happy Fick, existent Kentucky D-lineman Nic "Happy" Smith and Steve Harvey, present are the post-Week 6 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Sam Houston, We Have a Problem (0-5)

The Bearkats were krushed by New Mexiko State and now, aft zero location kontests successful September, kan kruise done astir of Ocktober successful the affable konfines of Huntsville, Teksas.

2. Oregon Trail State (You person died of dysentery) (0-6)

The Beavers are the nation's lone six-loss squad aft traveling 4,477 miles circular travel to suffer a heartbreaker successful Boone, North Carolina, to Appalachian State. Now they big Wake Forest, which volition marque a 4,624-mile circular travel from Winston-Salem, North Carolina, to Corvallis and back. FWIW, Wake and App State are separated by 86 miles. The Beavs should person conscionable stayed successful North Carolina and spent the week successful the foothills eating barbecue, drinking moonshine and watching the autumn foliage turned orangish and black, some the colors of Oregon State and the colors that your liver turns aft drinking existent Carolina moonshine.

3. UMess (0-5)

It was the existent Minutemen who were perched connected Bunker Hill, holding dependable atop Boston arsenic the British marched person and closer, but refusing to prosecute due to the fact that they had been ordered by their commanding officer, "Don't occurrence until you spot the whites of their eyes!" That was america passim the archetypal six weeks of the season, arsenic we...