Bottom 10: There's no whitewashing Penn State's latest big-game flop

Inspirational thought of the week:

I perceive your laugh
And look up smiling astatine you
I tally and run
Past the pumpkin patch
And the tractor rides

Look now, the entity is gold
I hug your legs
And autumn dormant connected the mode home
I don't cognize wherefore each the trees alteration successful the fall
But I cognize you're not frightened of thing astatine all

-- "The Best Day," Taylor Swift

Here astatine Bottom 10 Headquarters, located beneath the heap of regret RSVP cards astatine Rece Davis' location due to the fact that his girl scheduled a autumn wedding, present that October has arrived, we cognize precisely wherever you volition each person been this week. Standing successful enactment with us, waiting for the store to unfastened astatine midnight Oct. 3 to merchantability america the archetypal copies of Tay-Tay's caller album, "The Life of a Showgirl."

Yes, this week the World's Most Famous Chiefs Fan Not Named Ant-Man drops her caller batch of songs, but we besides cognize that arsenic the Bottom 10 faithful campy retired connected the sidewalk, they volition beryllium listening to different playlist of saccharine tunes. I'm speaking of the combat songs of Sam Houston, We Have a Problem connected Thursday night. Then, the Charlotte 1-and-3'ers, San No-sé State and Colora-duh State connected Friday night. All programs that are successful their ain "Era" of penning "Bottom 10's Version" of their "Reputation" for "Evermore."

And portion we ticker those games, astatine immoderate constituent we volition recognize that it isn't "1989" and we nary longer person to beryllium successful enactment to bargain a caller record. Or bargain records astatine all. We tin download them to our phones. Or arsenic we telephone them present successful the B10CU, the Bottom 10 Cinematic Universe, our pouch computers.

With apologies to the Taylor University Trojans, erstwhile Nebraska wide receiver Nate Swift and Steve Harvey, present are the post-Week 5 Bottom 10 rankings.

1. Sam Houston, We Have a Problem (0-4)

The Bearkats kruised done their skheduled unfastened day and present koncentrate connected krossing the Rio Grande for a kontest kounter to New Mexiko State, who were conscionable konquered by New Mexiko successful Albukuerkue.

2. UMess (0-4)

Have you seen that meme of Cookie Monster drumming his fingers connected the table, impatiently waiting to spell bonkers connected a yet-to-arrive tray of cookies? Yeah, that's us, waiting for the Oct. 11 Pillow Fight of the Week of the Year of the Century Mega Bowl, erstwhile the Minutemen question to look State of Kent, who are 1-3 aft taking the week off. But earlier that, UMass hosts Western Not Eastern Michigan, portion Kent volition beryllium getting tally implicit by the Sooner Schooner similar a snake trying to transverse an Oklahoma freeway.

3. ucLa Boo'ins (0-4)

In Westwood, they said bye to their coach, past they had a bye week, past they mislaid astatine Bottom 10 Wait Listers Northworstern, past they raced USC backmost to Los Angeles, some wondering wherefore they said bye to having each those games person to location successful the league they said bye to too.

4. Oregon Trail State (You person died of dysentery) (0-5)

Speaking of the Artist Formerly Known But Soon To Be Known Again As The Pac-12, the Beavers became the nation's archetypal five-loss squad aft a near-win implicit undefeated Houston Not Sam Houston. Now they question eastbound to look Appalachian State successful Boone, North Carolina, wherever I erstwhile camped with the Boy Scouts and had each of our nutrient stolen by existent beavers.

5. We Are ... Back successful the Coveted Fifth Spot! (3-1)

There are those who mightiness effort to person you that Penn State's White Out didn't enactment the nighttime they played Oregon, but it did. Watch James Franklin's postgame quality league erstwhile helium was asked astir his grounds against top-10 teams. He wholly utilized virtual Wite-Out to overgarment implicit ...