Beautiful nonsense as governance, by Owei Lakemfa

Senate President Godswill Akpabio issued a precise almighty connection to the satellite connected October 11, 2025, titled “The Trials and Triumphs of a Resilient Nigeria’s 10th Senate.” He vowed   that: “The Senate cannot and volition not beryllium held hostage by the disruptive instincts of immoderate of its members.”

He declared: “Democracy thrives lone erstwhile its institutions are respected and its rules upheld…The subject of parliamentary behaviour is simply a cosmopolitan marker of governmental civilization”. The Senate President mentioned nary names, gave nary instances, referred to nothing. It was conscionable a bland connection that said nothing. It gives the content of an idle person uncovering it hard to get retired of bed. In immoderate case, if the Senate is simply a productive assemblage arsenic Akpabio claims, it volition beryllium evident from   its acts and conduct, not bare declarations. If it were a disciplined body, it would person taken enactment against   Acting Clerk Yahaya Danzaria, who aft the expiration of the Senate’s six-month suspension of Senator Nathasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, wrote   to extend   the suspension without Senate approval.

Maybe Senator Akpabio, a lawyer, has been speechmaking William Shakespeare and decided to contented a connection afloat of “sound and fury, signifying nothing”.

I admit Akpabio has been acold little entertaining than the Minister of Works, ‘Professor’   David Umahi.   A quality anchor, Rufai Oseni, had successful an interrogation asked Umahi for the outgo breakdown   of the on-going Lagos-Calabar Highway. The Minister, either due to the fact that helium does not know, oregon is an artful dodger, pretended to beryllium angry: “These are simple questions. And it makes nary sense. A process is ongoing, outgo has been made, and you are saying, ‘how has this wealth been utilized?’ The wealth is meant for the project, and it volition beryllium paid according to the enactment done.”

Then helium purported to lecture the writer and the public: “When a certificate is generated, and it is approved done a process successful the Ministry of Works, it volition past beryllium fixed to the funders, who will, successful turn, cheque if the works were done. How tin you beryllium asking for outgo per kilometre? The prices are different. The adjacent kilometre is antithetic from the adjacent kilometre.” This was quiescent a ridiculous answer; that each kilometre of a 700-kilometre road volition person a antithetic cost.

After Umahi’s rigmarole, the anchor insisted connected a consecutive guardant answer: What is the mean outgo per kilometre? Umahi decided to beryllium rough. He told   the interviewer: “Keep quiescent and halt saying what you don’t know. I’m a prof successful this field. You don’t recognize anything. You person nary cognition of what you ask.”

Despite his claims, the information is that the Minister is nary prof successful immoderate tract and does not look to beryllium susceptible of professing connected immoderate verifiable issue. Clearly, to him and his chap collaborators, this road task is simply a bottomless pit into which the country’s resources are   being sunk with nary mode of verifying   the existent cost.    

So, wherefore is   a elemental roadworthy task being presented by a Minister successful Nigeria arsenic a religion into which nary enquiries tin beryllium made, and nary questions tin beryllium asked without risking a complaint of heresy?    

Later, the Oyo State governor, Seyi Makinde, weighed in: “They asked a Minister however overmuch the coastal roadworthy is, and past you (Umahi) are dancing astir and going to accidental that no, the adjacent kilometre is antithetic from the adjacent kilometre. Then what is the mean cost?”     

Makinde past gave a template Umahi could usage to reply this elemental question: “When we did the Oyo to Iseyin roadworthy then, it was astir ¦ 9.99 billion, astir ¦ 10 billion. About 34 oregon 35 kilometres, mean outgo is astir ¦ 238 cardinal per kilometre. But erstwhile we did Iseyin to Ogbomoso, that was 76 kilometres, it was astir ¦ 43 billion, mean outgo is astir ¦ 500 cardinal per kilometre. And we had 2 bridges, 1 implicit the Ogun River and past 1 astatine Ogbomoso end.”

The Makinde logic is: if authorities governments could supply basal figures for projects, wherefore can’t the Federal Government?

Once again, Minister Umahi who seemingly loves the dependable of his ain voice, started booming: “If a politician that is acold my inferior successful engineering and governance insults me, I volition speech back. One happening I’m precise bully astatine is Mathematics. I’m an ‘A’ pupil successful mathematics.”

Then, Minister Umahi  tried to reply the simple question of cost: “This contention astir outgo per kilometre, I person told you that this task is astir 43 kilometres. But we person ...